Lookin’ fit there buddy! *wink*

06 Sep

I want you to hear me out. I’m going to say something that you might find unbelievable.

It’s been a long slog to get here, but you’re a middle-aged businessman (possibly lawyer) making a solid mid-six figure salary (not counting investment returns, of course). You go to the gym –  your trainer says you’re really fit – and you just left your second wife, because (let’s be honest here) she was really cramping your style.

You haven’t had a clean shave for months now, but your secretary says the stubble looks hot despite (or because of?) the touch of grey. What you’re really needing now is to ‘complete the look.’  Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 9.39.49 PM.png

But where do you go? And what’s it going to cost you?

Roll up your sleeves, tough guy. It’s time for some manly online shopping.

Ready for the unbelievable part?

I swear it’s the truth when I say that you can completely rock your new style with a new outfit for just $1932. Sure, there’s more to it than one outfit, but this is where the Guideboat Co. comes in to deliver everything you need right to your front door.

From the catalog:

It all started with a guideboat. My grandfather … was comfortable but not wealthy, fortunate enough to own a stunning Adirondack-made 19th century Rushton Guideboat. He was a less-is-more man and knew that quality required effort – and was rarely simple in the making.

It sounds like he was talking about you – except you can’t possibly be a grandfather, you’re in the prime of your life!Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 9.38.51 PM.png

But style is more than just a guideboat. Just look at this guy. styling. How can he be outfitted so economically?

How can he be outfitted so economically?

The short answer: Guideboat co.

The long answer:

  1. The French dungaree twill work jacket. Khaki. $245
  2. The Eiger vest. Navy. $265
  3. The end-on-end workshirt. Blue. $165
  4. Authentic Aviators. $209 (Real deal polarized protection)
  5. The Ace Automatic 42mm watch. $485
  6. Civilianaire selvage denim jeans. Indigo. $265 (a Cacographer’s dreamware. Just kidding)
  7. Small Batch Socks. Rugby Stripe. $30
  8. Double braided leather bracelet. Dark Brown. $98- oops. missed the sale. now $115

It’s as simple as that. And, you have to go commando in those $265 jeans because the one thing won’t prepare you for is poor bathroom hygiene.

And if you think this company is all talk, consider the authenticity of their new San Fransico store in “historic Jackson Square … built in 1861 on a foundation of the hulls of two wooden Gold Rush sailing ships from the same era.”

Isn’t that just like Grandpa?




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Posted by on September 6, 2016 in Uncategorized


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